Its hard to accept

After so long, finally after today, i came to realise that hard work does not pay off at all. All the shit i have been through, no use. It all comes down to talent and experience, never was i given a chance. Just when i thought that its time for me to shine, but sadly its the backyard for me once again.

I feel like giving all up, but i know i just can't. My mind says go, but my heart says no. All i need is a miracle, yes i know, only a miracle can save me. Maybe one day i will see the truth in it, its hard to believe that it would happen soon. Maybe until next year, i still could not see it. Please save me from this unbearable pain, it hurts me so bad, i should have just given up long ago, to prevent myself from any further embarrassment. I am getting weaker and weaker each day, my energy and passion gets drained as the sun sets again and again.

Its coming soon, yes i know. But how i wish it would never come, so as to give myself more time to hide in the dark. Sometimes it just doesn't suits you. Others does not know how you feel, its hard trying to put on a smile everyday, just to put on a fake front but all the time its bugging you. Great power comes with great responsibility, i am afraid i have failed to do so. Now i am in such a difficult position, caught in the middle. Its coming, a soul-less me is going to emerge. Victorious and glory is what everyone wants, so do i. But this time i know, i can never be, its getting late, too late to start, maybe i shouldn't have started it at all. I want to scream it all out, but i am afraid it might take me hours, even after doing so, it would still remain in my heart.

Its just my greatest desire, what i really want, never did i want it so badly, but it seems like it just keep drifting away. Further and further, its getting out of sight now, a glimpse of hope, not even there. Some times life just suck so bad that you would find it unbearable. Now its all too late to do anything, all i could do is look and watch it pass by me, never once did i manage to say 'hello', not even a chance for 'goodbye'. How could i get this right, tears are my best friend every time i think about it. I should not even have started this, nothing could describe what i m feeling now, its just emptiness. Only in my dreams, i would be able to get it.

Good night, hello to my tears. Thanks for being there with me.